Pages

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Stronger the Attachment, the Greater the Misery ...

Our last post was prior to our Vipassana Mediation retreat, which began on October 12.  We took a cab to the small village outside of Pushkar where the center is located.  The center was literally in the middle of the desert, and was surrounded my mountains.  It was remote and very quiet.  It didn't occur to me while we were checking in on the 12th that absolutely no one had any idea how to get in touch with us in case of an emergency.  That thought occurred to me about four days into our meditation, and gave me some feelings of uneasiness that I was required to observe objectively with total equanimity:)  Right.


So for those of you who are not familiar with the Vipassana Meditation technique, it is one of India's most ancient meditation techniques that was lost, and then rediscovered by Gotama Buddha more than 2,500 years ago as a remedy for universal ills and the natural defilement's of the mind.  Vipassana was and still is today considered an art of living that will deliver the practitioner from mental impurities and bring peace, harmony and full liberation to those who continue to practice the technique. The literal meaning of Vipassana is to see things as they really are.  The purpose of this technique is essentially self-transformation and healing from all human suffering via self-observation and silent meditation.

Meditation Hall:

The "cell" ...





The following describes the technique according to dhamma.org, the official Web site for the practice:

"Vipassana is a way of self-transformation through self-observation. It focuses on the deep interconnection between mind and body, which can be experienced directly by disciplined attention to the physical sensations that form the life of the body, and that continuously interconnect and condition the life of the mind. It is this observation-based, self-exploratory journey to the common root of mind and body that dissolves mental impurity, resulting in a balanced mind full of love and compassion.


"The scientific laws that operate one's thoughts, feelings, judgements and sensations become clear. Through direct experience, the nature of how one grows or regresses, how one produces suffering or frees oneself from suffering is understood. Life becomes characterized by increased awareness, non-delusion, self-control and peace.


"Since the time of Buddha, Vipassana has been handed down, to the present day, by an unbroken chain of teachers. Although Indian by descent, the current teacher in this chain, Mr. S.N. Goenka, was born and raised in Burma (Myanmar). While living there he had the good fortune to learn Vipassana from his teacher, Sayagyi U Ba Khin who was at the time a high Government official. After receiving training from his teacher for fourteen years, Mr. Goenka settled in India and began teaching Vipassana in 1969. Since then he has taught tens of thousands of people of all races and all religions in both the East and West. In 1982 he began to appoint assistant teachers to help him meet the growing demand for Vipassana courses."


"Although Vipassana was developed as a technique by the Buddha, its practice is not limited to Buddhists. There is absolutely no question of conversion. The technique works on the simple basis that all human beings share the same problems and a technique which can eradicate these problems will have a universal application. People from many religious denominations have experienced the benefits of Vipassana meditation, and have found no conflict with their profession of faith."


Once we completed registration, we were told to thoroughly read the "code of discipline" before making our final commitment, as quitting before the ten days are complete is not allowed, and can be harmful to you as well as harmful to others taking the course.  Throughout the course you must obey the following five precepts:

1.  Abstention from killing ANY being (this doesn't mean that you can have someone kill a being for you in order for you to eat it.  That is the same as killing...just FYI!)
2.  Abstention from stealing
3.  Abstention from all sexual activity
4.  Abstention from telling lies
5.  Abstention from all intoxicants

Throughout the ten days "noble silence" must also be observed from the beginning of the course until the morning of the last full day. Noble Silence means silence of body, speech, and mind. Any form of communication with a fellow student, whether by gestures, sign language, written notes, etc., is prohibited.

You are however allowed to speak with the teacher from 12:00 to 12:30 pm and 9:00 to 9:30 pm if you have questions or concerns.  You may also approach the management with any problems related to food, accommodation, health, etc. But even these contacts should be kept to a minimum so you may develop the sense of working in isolation.

Complete segregation of men and women is also to be maintained. Couples, married or otherwise, should not contact each other in any way during the course. The same applies to friends, members of the same family, etc.  I learned this the hard way when I was struck with a bad case of diarrhea on the third night.  I was literally up all night going to the bathroom, and in the beginning of that evening I actually ran out of toilet paper.  The next morning I was expected to talk to the teacher to let him know what my issue was, and when I asked him if I would be able to speak with my husband who incidentally had toilet paper, he laughed at me and said, "no."

I was really upset and offended by the teacher's lack of understanding at first, but after a few hours of meditation, I realized he was probably laughing at the prospect of me breaking my silence to tell my husband about my diarrhea.  In India, the butt shower is customary, and toilet paper is a wasteful enterprise.  Well, let's just say that I mastered the butt shower, and am stronger for it:)

The first and second days of silence were very strange.  I started noticing small details that I usually overlook such as flowers, small plants, animals, and sensations.  I also started to enjoy washing my clothes by hand, and I put great effort into small details.  My mind became more and more clear everyday and I felt happier and happier with each meditation.  This enhanced sense of happiness and freedom did not come with perfection however.  I still became annoyed with little things that I was supposed to not care about like people belching and farting in the middle of meditation.  One morning I heard a fart in Kale's direction and was mortified by the thought that my husband didn't hold his gas.  Later I found out it wasn't him.  I also was annoyed with the lady I sat next to during mealtime because she wouldn't stop smacking her food like a cow...so I was still kind of bitchy even though I was feeling amazing.  Every time I would think bad thoughts about the burping, farting and smacking culprits I would try to turn that disgust into compassion, and 90% of the time it worked.  I would tell myself they couldn't help it or they just didn't know any better.  I also realized that I was creating my own misery by allowing myself to become irritated:)

Basically our schedule was the same for ten days.  We woke up ate 4 am, and had to be in the meditation hall at 4:30 am for meditation.  We had to sit on our meditation pillows without moving until 6:30 am.  I moved a few times, and so did the other students.  Its really difficult to sit still for two straight hours!  At 6:30 am we had breakfast, and we were free to rest or walk until 8 am.  At 8 am we had to be in the meditation hall for one hour of group meditation with the teacher.  At 9 am we got to "take rest" for five minutes, and then at 9:05 am we had to return to the meditation hall for another two hours of meditation.  At 11 am, after meditation, we had lunch.  After lunch we were able to rest or walk until 1 pm.  From 1 to 5 pm we meditated.  Yes.  FOUR HOURS of meditating...I thought I was going to die the first two days...but I didn't die!  At 5 pm we were served tea and a snack, and from 6 to 7 pm we had meditation with the teacher.  From 7 to 8:30 pm we had our teacher's discourse, which was given via video.  After the video we had to go back to the meditation hall to meditate until 9 pm.  At 9 pm we were finally able to "take rest" until 4 am when the day would start all over again.  After the first two days, I actually began to enjoy the schedule.  I actually began to look forward to the meditations.  AND I actually LOVED waking up early before the sun came up. I have NEVER been a morning person, and now I want to get up early everyday to meditate.  That was not like me before Vipassana, but now I can't see myself sleeping in.  Sleeping in seems like such a waste of time now.  I also became accustomed to not eating after noon each day.  I would have breakfast and lunch and then just a lime water or tea for dinner.  I had so much energy and never once felt deprived of food.  I was truly listening to my body's needs, and my body was telling me that I had had enough food after lunch.  It was pretty amazing.

The Meditators!!!







By the time the tenth day rolled around and we were allowed to speak, I felt like talking was going to diminish the great feeling I had.  But I was also anxious to meet the other girls who were participating in the course.  Its difficult to spend ten days meditating and eating with people but not being allowed to speak with them.  They turned out to be lovely...especially two of them (Lenka and Louisa) who I hope to keep in touch with.  When we were dismissed on the twelfth day, five of us took the bus back to Pushkar together.  We parted ways once we got into town, and set a time to meet for lunch.  It was such a great group.  Ravi from Mumbai, Lenka from the Czech Republic, Louisa from Brazil and Kale and I - the token Americans:)  Lenka, Louisa and I had a lot of the same experiences, thoughts and annoyances throughout the ten days.  Kale and Ravi were a little more accepting of situations that us ladies were irritated by...pretty typical I'd say!  The next morning we met at 5:30 am to hike Sivitri Hill to watch the sun rise.  Kale and I got a head start because we weren't sure if the others would feel like waking up, but halfway up the mountain we heard a voice calling to us in our Vipassana meditation guide language..."uninchurred, uninchurred..."  It was Lenka, and the others.  They ended up meeting us after all.  Once we got up to the top of the mountain there was a beautiful sunrise, and as we watched it, we laughed about some of the teacher's catch phrases that he would repeat over and over during our guided meditations...uninchurrrrrrrrrrrred, uninchurrrrrrrrrrrrrrred ... equanimity ... toooootal equanimity ... patiently and persistently, patiently and persistently, you are bound to be successful, bound to be successful ...work diligently, diligently, diligently ... 



No comments:

Post a Comment